theauspolchronicles:

Fun fact: Scott Morrison is a piece of shit

roguesquirrel:

The Great Gatsby 2
… they thought he was dead…
……..but they rebuilt him…
…faster … stronger … smarter…
old sports die hard
In
The Great Gatling-Gunsby
West Egg is about to be Scrambled

sarcastic-sanity:

1. Pour out how much you think you need.

2. Wrong.

sar-kalu:

ollivander:

wadewilson-parker:

It’s a pity they didn’t cast Ryan Reynolds as Jay Gatsby, since he’s both the green lantern and deadpool…

what the fuck kind of mutant ass pun bullshit is this

It took way too long to get this and when I did the noise I made was unholy

officialunitedstates:

me:  [throws pretzels at my mean boss] excuse me they slipped out of my hand

my boss:  okay don’t worry about it

me:  i wasn’t planning on worrying about it

my boss:  [starts to walk away] 

me:  [chucks one of those bigger kinds of pretzels at the back of his head]

my boss: [picks it off the floor] they don’t even have this here. did you bake this?

me:  sorry it slipped

snh-snh-snh:

I keep thinking oh man, I’m so immature. How am I allowed to be an adult.

Then I spend time with teenagers.

And it’s like, wow, okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.